America & Alcohol

"What is is about America and alcohol?" I asked when Andrew telephoned me at two in the morning.

It wasn't what he had called about, but I didn't want to discuss financing foreign aid at that time of the morning.

"I don't know, what?" he asked.

"How does it make sense that you can get married at 16, have two or three children, celebrate your fifth wedding anniversary and still not be able to buy a bottle of wine?"

"You've lived in France too long," he replied with some annoyance.

"It's a perfect example of how Americans will attack the wrong end of a problem," I said. "I have no problem in keeping young people who are at school from drinking - but by the time they're 18 and could theoretically be drafted - like you and I were - and, of course, they can voite - so why can't they legally have a beer?"

"Because of prohibition," Andrew said wearily. "America never got over it. Most Americans aren't used to drinking at home, so they get smashed when they are away from their families."

"So the law is made to restrict the minority?" I asked.

"Don't be clever. Do you know how many people are killed each year by drunk drivers?"

"I'm not saying that people should drink and drive. I'm saying they should be able to learn how to drink and then be able to at about the same age as they can get married," I said.

"Politicians won't touch this one," Andrew said. "The lobby is too strong."

"So that's it?" I demanded. "Common sense goes down the drain? The great democratic experiment collapses at what Mencken called 'The Great Experiment.'?"

"Please don't start with the Mencken quotes," Andrew said painfully.

"Children should learn to drink with their parents, or family friends at least. Watered wine - not spirits - with meals," I began.

"But children don't eat with their parents. Half of Americans don't eat at a table: they eat on their laps or little tables watching television," Andrew said.

"And they don't drink?"

"Not at meals."

"Your family did. Mine did. Sarah's did."

"That's different," Andrew said, getting annoyed now.

"Are you saying it's a class thing?"

The silence on the line was deafening.

"Okay, then. But have a listen to this: If you drew a map of where Catholics and Protestants live in Europe, you would also be drawing a map of where people preferred their food preserved in glass bottles and jars, or in tin cans."

"What?" came a faint plea.

"And the same map would define who drank wine, and who drank beer."

"Say that again."

"Okay: Catholic areas prefer food packaged in glass to food packaged in tin cans, and they drink wine. Protestants prefer tin cans and drink beer. Think about it: France, Spain and Italy - Catholic, glass and wine. Germany, The Netherlands, Britain: Protestant, tin cans and beer."

"Amazing," Andrew said, the light beginning to dawn.

"Now, go make a similar map of America and see what it tells you."